Steve Bruce’s customary post-match e-mail should, for some beleaguered supporters who have already expressed their thoughts, have included the words “I resign”. Such a gesture would, of course, do us no good of any kind with just three games to play this season. But while Bruce has had to grapple with appalling injury problems, this was a dire display …

Dear Colin,

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Starting with a dreary return to general incompetence at home to Fulham – OK, we have no fit strikers, but does that stop us defending too? – these are the most recent of Pete Sixsmith‘s incisive seven-word verdicts capturing the essence of just about every game. When, rarely, Pete is absent, a supersub does it for him.

All horrendously flat today; some good first-half approach work brought no reward, Fulham took an undeserved lead before reaching a scoreline that suggested a romp but really just reflected our own capitulation. There will be no immediate post-match report tonight, though Pete’s full analysis will appear within the next couple of days.

The full Sixer’s Sevens archive – see link below – encapsulates the matchday experiences, from darkest gloom to sublime elation, of a fan who is usually there …

April 30 2011 SAFC (0) 0 Fulham (1) 3 No forwards, creaky defence, hurry up summer

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You know Pete Sixsmith. It takes only an FA Cup Final, wall-to-wall Rugby Union or an England international to drive him on to the road to satisfy his immense appetite for the more obscure corners of football. A royal wedding was just the prompt he needed …

Oliver Cromwell was a great Englishman, of that there is no doubt. Under the rule of the Commonwealth, there would have been no royal weddings or any of the page-after-page reporting that goes with it; good as that is for Samson’s litter tray, it is not great for the brain.

Unfortunately, Olly had a bit of a downer on football and ale, so maybe I would not have been as pleased by old Ironside as I originally made out. As well as his his highly visible and undisguised wart, he also had other imperfections.

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No one suspected for a second that beating Wigan Athletic 4-2 at home amounted to a revival. It is not, by itself, even a mini-revival, though another win, at home to Fulham today, would represent one of those.

But it came as a mighty relief nonetheless, perhaps ending any relegation fears.

For a look at what has been happening at Salut! Sunderland, in case you missed any of it, here’s a snapshot of the week. Click on any sub-heading to read more …

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Especially for those outraged by our lapse from republican values, to the extent of running a spoof wedding vows item, it’s straight back to normal business. Late, almost too late, came this gem: a second Fulham “Who are You?”, this time from David Lloyd, editor of the fan site There’s Only One F In Fulham …

Salut! Sunderland: You drew against one relegation struggler at the weekend, we finally won against another. A good time or bad time for us to have you up at the Stadium of Light?

We played well at Wolves but were suckered by them scoring with their first attack of note (after 20 minutes) and needed a late leveller having had several chances. Against Bolton in midweek we should have scored five or six (we won 3-0) and were brilliant going forward. If we play to that tempo you could be in trouble!

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Q: William Arthur Philip Louis, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together to God’s law law in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health? And forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

A: I will

Q: Catherine Elizabeth, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together to God’s law law in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health? And forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

A: Aye, but only on condition he stops supporting them useless sods at Villa who nicked our top scorer. And that the Lads bring a smile to the faces of me cousins and marras in Hetton-le-Hole and down at Beedle’s fish and chip shop in Bishop, by beating Fulham at the Stadium of Light tomorrow.

A Fulham supporter whose photos have graced these pages was all lined up, then went AWOL. Just when we thought we’d have to run the spoof Lily Allen interview all over again, Sean Collins popped up – courtesy of the Fulhamfc site, to which huge thanks for indulging a Mackem in despair – with these instant, and therefore all the more appreciated, responses. We could, however, have done without his score forecast …

Salut! Sunderland: You drew against one relegation struggler at the weekend, we finally won against another struggler and you had a great result last night. A good time or bad time for us to have you up at the Stadium of Light?

A bad time in my opinion for Sunderland, due to a mixture of your unfortunate injuries and our players that have come back from injury looking sharper, the likes of Zamora, and especially Simon Davies who was exceptional last night.

What, then, is the legacy of Roy Hodgson, the Fulham view of him now and the verdict on Mark Hughes so far?

The legacy of Roy will always stay as it was, a stand-out period in the club’s history and done with honest hard work and genuine team spirit. Mark Hughes took a while to grow into the job, a task made harder by injuries to key players, but he now seems to be stamping his own authority on the side and a top 10 finish would be respectable.

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Across at the official club site, it’s already that time of year.

Who, safc.com wants to know, do fans make their player of the season and young player of the season, and what were the goal, save and team performance of the season?

Voting closes on May 11 – which I hope does not mean no one will be trying to pull off the goal, save or team display of the season on May 14 against Wolves or at West ham on May 22 – and each vote is entered into a prize draw with a pair of tickets to the May 18 awards dinner at the Stadium of Light as the prize.

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Here’s an adventure in fantasy football:

Imagine we’ve just beaten someone, not Newcastle but a team like Bolton or West Brom, in the League Cup final. Yes, that’s quite a leap of faith given how modestly we proceed in cup competition these days, but bear with me ….

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We’ll take a long time getting round to it, but the question is simple enough: what possible interest was served by Steve Bruce refusing, if the reports are correct, to attend the post-match press conference? …

Salut! Sunderland supports Sunderland AFC with absolute passion. It was created by a journalist who started his career in the North East and later moved to Fleet Street (though he has also spent thousands of pounds and devoted countless hours to following the club since boyhood).

None of that will ever stop this site criticising SAFC when criticism seems merited, or criticising the press when that is merited, too.

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