Is Santa listening? Probably not, but Salut! Sunderland thought it would produce its own list of the presents it wants, the things it wants to happen not just for Christmas but for the coming year. Let’s see how many are granted. This is the first of three instalments. Come up with a better suggestion or two and you might win a prize …

A is for Arsène. The elegantly whingeing Alsacian – (“is that why they’re called Arsenal?” asked the daughter who knows nothing about football) – announces a new deal with Optical Express, suddenly sees things more clearly, apologises for his players’ occasional diving and heaps praise on teams that beat or draw against Arsenal as well as those that lose.

B is for Bruce: Steve wins three manager-of-the-month awards in succession and we’re not only safe but sixth.
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What the Dickens is this? Why, nought but a heartwarming tale from the season of goodwill, in which Sir Michael Ashley plays Scroogely, the fans play with large alphabet shapes but still cannot get the hang of spelling the simplest of words and the One Wise Man plays himself. Are you sitting quietly? Then Pete Sixsmith will begin …

Once upon a time – on, of all the good days the year, Christmas Eve – old Scroogely sat in his counting house at sports direct deckchair stripes@stmikes’park.com. He looked up and snarled at Bob Lambias, his poor benighted clerk, who sat in the cold, cheerless office surrounded by Lonsdale track suits and Dunlop trainers.

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Just out: Lance Hardy’s carefully researched story of the 1973 cup final when Sunderland threw off underdog status to defeat Don Revie’s mighty Leeds and win the FA Cup. It needs a great leap of faith to think you’ve much chance of getting the book from Amazon before Christmas. But you can get it, by clicking this link, at the knockdown price of just over £11 (instead of £18.99 and it’s even cheaper if you opt for second hand). Colin Randall wallows in nostalgia …

Where were you when Sunderland beat Leeds 1-0 in the FA Cup Final of May 5 1973?
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